I have heard from my daughter once in 3 months. I sent her a cute little valentine's bouquet but no response. I suppose that I just need to focus on other things as I have a real life soap opera in my home right now. A part of me just wants to know why. I feel rejected. Is it something I said, am I not good enough? Old wounds. I recognize that. I am far enough along to realize that reunion is complicated and I am self assured enough to realize that the thoughts are products of the adoption coercion mind games I went through. It just is painful. There was a lack of any honesty to our relationship if you can even call it that. She didn't want to know the whole story, I didn't want to tell her. To her it was a fairy tale. She got the perfect life, perfect family. I gave her that, she is grateful. We have only e-mailed, I have never even heard her voice, well not since her infant cries at birth anyway. I keep trying to figure it out, even make excuses, like she doesn't have the natural love for me I have for her and all that...
I miss her...
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2 comments:
I am sorry.As a fellow first mom who hasn't heard from her son in five weeks, after a year of phone calls 3-4 times a day and monthly visits, I understand. He did want to know the truth, and we shared it. I believe it overwhelmed him. He is young just 19. And the fact that his a-mom has basically convinced him that I am crazy because I love him, has driven him away. I'll never stop hoping that one day he will "come home" again.
Denise
I'm sure he will realize how much he is loved and return Denise...
Big Hugs!
Kristy
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