Saturday, September 6, 2008

Just thinking about differences again!

You know when I was growing up I cannot remember having one friend who was adopted. Oh I am sure that I did, it just wasn't talked about. My daughter J has 3 friends who are adopted. They talk about it, they told me within days of knowing them. It is much more "acceptable" to talk about now. In fact recently one of these friends talked about meeting his birthmom. He said she was addicted to drugs when he was born and when he met her last year she was fresh out of rehab. He is 18. Amazing how the world changes. How different it is. When I lost my daughter to adoption, I was not ashamed of her. I spoke openly to family and friends about her. I see so many nmoms of the 50's, 60's and 70's who hid their pregnancy and loss in such a veil of shame. That is so sad. That great loss and being unable to talk to anyone about it for support. Adoptees of that era must have felt the same inability to talk about their adoption and how it affected their lives. Wow.

2 comments:

Holly said...

Seriously, the differences are amazing! I think it's a good thing. Denial, secrets, they cause so much damage. I'm all for things being out in the open - even if they are painful. The truth always wins out.

Your a very special person, Kristy!
Hugs,
Holly

TheRightThing said...

When I was growing up, I remember there were twins that were 1 year older than me that were adopted. That was it. But we NEVER talked about it. No one talked about it. And as you know, even after I met my nmother, I didn't tell anyone for years.