I know some really cool adoptees. I know some really cool adoptees who have been denied contact by part of all of their natural families. IT BREAKS MY HEART! I read their blogs, I read their pain. They express it so well that when I read it as a mother it touches my soul. If I could find all of them, wrap my arms around them, and give them some small amount of a mother's comfort I would. If I could hunt down their nfamilies tie them to a chair and scream at them until they realized what they were missing I would.
Since obviously I don't have the frequent flyer miles to do any of that, I try to listen to them, to read what they are saying, to understand they are in pain, and to acknowledge them.
I posted last about the stages of grief and why I felt I couldn't get to a "healed place" about losing my daughter to adoption. I have begun to believe that there is a small chance I am the reason I cannot heal, that since I will not allow myself to accept than I cannot complete the "healing process".
So now I think about the adoptee grief, the grief of a child, feeling abandoned once and now as an adult facing abandonment again. How do they heal? How do they accept? Do they just say some people are assholes and accept their life without knowing? That sucks.